I gave him mybest warrior princess smile in return. Sure, I'd stroke his ego, but Iwasn't about to fade into the background for anyone. I was a veryliberated girl, I thought and laughed aloud. Everything just seemed somuch better now. I could almost understand how crossdressers felt. Andyes, I realized that for the moment I numbered among them, but knew in myheart that I was a real girl. It broke my heart that I'd have to continuethe charade of John. I was determined that it wouldn't be for that muchlonger.The ride finally ended. Sam gallantly offered me his hand to help me downfrom my horse. I graciously accepted his gesture. "I love you Joan," hewhispered. I smiled so wide my jaw ached. We walked about the boards fora bit after that. Sam bought me some fresh fudge. It was all the sweeterfor being from him. I kept a few pieces to bring home to Mom. I knew sheloved chocolate. I found myself wishing that I could wear my high heelshere. I began to wonder just how strange Sam would look. I'd gradually plucked my eyebrows till they were pencil line thin.I'd let my nails grow long and kept them manicured and shaped.I'd let my hair grow till it reached my shoulders.And I finally had my ears pierced and wore clear plastic disks in themwhile they healed.My job had been OK at least, or maybe I'd been in denial about that. Iwas in software marketing and had been making a lot of money - and mynumbers had always been decent enough if not spectacular.But one day I showed up at the office and found a voicemail from thepresident's secretary requesting my presence in a meeting that morning.At the time I didn't think much of it but when I walked into his officeand saw his expression I knew something was wrong.He started right off with 'I want your resignation'.I was floored! 'Why?' I asked 'My numbers are good''I've had several of our large customers call and ask that you be takenoff their account. They've been feeling uncomfortable around you, andfrankly so have I. I honestly.
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